Saying What You Don't Mean
by I Speak Muffin
Summary: When Mihael wishes death upon his rival, he does not realize that even he can be wrong about the things he really wants. "If you squint really, really, really hard, there are vague hints of Mello/Near,"


Don't ask…I'm beyond angry at my freakin school. I've failed the exit exam for freshman language arts twice for stupid reasons.

Disclaimer: No own-y, so sue-y.

PS - I wanted to use the Japanese pronunciation for their names...For..Some reason o.O

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It was a perfect day. Quiet, peaceful, and not a cloud hung in the beautiful blue

sky. Most of the children in the neighborhood were outside, playing in the street just

because their parents told them not to. A flock of happy songbirds perched on the ledge of

a certain blond boy's window. They sung their merry tune, carefree about the problems

in the world. Nothing could ruin their perfect day. Okay, maybe the large textbook that

was violently thrown at them could.

"You know, Mihaeru, if you don't like them, you could just

close the window," a petite, albino male monotonously stated, his blank, grey eyes staring

at his elder roommate. Said roommate responded with an unintelligible grunt, hardly

paying attention to his rival. "There's nothing in the English language that sounds

anything like that, Mihaeru." picking up another book, Mihaeru chose to throw it at the

younger teen instead of the birds that had, unfortunately, returned to the window.

"You're just as bad as those things!" shouted the blond.

"They are called birds," Neito casually replied which earned him another

object being thrown at him. "If you keep throwing your books at me, you're going to run

out of material to study." this sentence only served to further enrage the elder.

"That's it! Get out!" Mihaeru shouted at the boy who sat, innocently twirling a

lock of snow-white hair.

"You are being unreasonab-" Neito's sentence was cut short by the blonde's angry

voice.

"I am not being unreasonable! I'm trying to study so I can be better than you and I

can't do it with all this noise. Get out," letting out a small sigh, the younger of the two,

Neito, gathered his belongings, mostly papers, and headed out of the room, closing the

door behind him. Huffing, Mihaeru collapsed onto his very plain bed, shutting his eyes.

"He's so bothersome. Sometimes I wish that he would just die." the blond whispered to

no one particular. With a headache and no intention of resuming his previous activity,

Mihaeru let his conscious go, falling into a light slumber…

Opening his eyes, the teen attempted to calculate the time. It was cold and dark

therefore it must have been passed nightfall. Either that or he had gone blind and was

outside. 'Wait just a minute'…Reaching up, Mihaeru grasped onto what felt like a cloth

then pulled it off.

"You are awake or I am dreaming of you being awake. Is it possible that you are

dreaming that I am dreaming of you being awake?" someone, someone familiar,

questioned from next to him. Upon looking towards the direction where the voice came

from, the blond found that there was no one there, or so he thought. "Your eyes are such a

stunning shade of blue. Like the ocean after the world has ended and no one is left but

that salty body of water." the disembodied voice spoke again. A slight movement caught

Mihaeru's attention. Squinting, the teen was met with the sight of a nearly invisible being.

It was not that he really was invisible, it was just that the person blended in so well with

the flurry of white snow. The only part of the human, at least he hoped it was human, that

he could actually make out was the pair of sparkling grey eyes that stood out from the

colorless surroundings.

Shivering, Mihaeru used the small cloth to try to cover himself, earning a chuckle

from whatever that thing was. "Where am I?" he asked, fully aware of the fact that he did

not fall asleep outside.

"The question is not of which the answer is a location but one of which of how,"

from the voice, Mihaeru could conclude that the freakishly white thing was male.

However, he did not quite follow what it was saying.

"Excuse me?" the thing moved again, causing the blond to lose sight of it but he

knew that it was still relatively close.

"Or is it that you are not here? Is anybody really here? Or are we there? Perhaps

everywhere," Mihaeru slightly jumped, not expecting the other male to be directly behind

him. Whipping around, he tried to get a better look at the person.

"Neito?" he stared, long and hard. Was his rival trying to pull some kind of prank

on him?

"Stranger knows me yet I do not know Stranger. I know many things strange but

not you," Neito vanished once more.

"Are you calling me strange?" Mihaeru growled._ 'The nerve of that freak to call_

_me strange! Just wait till I can see him again, I'll kick his-'_ an unnerving laugh echoed

around him.

"Strange? What is strange? Define it. A real definition? There is none! Strange is

weird, weird is odd, odd is normal. Strange is nothing more than an oddly, weird normal,"

at that moment, Mihaeru felt as if his brain exploded. Nothing that the mysterious man

said made any sense. "Perhaps Eru would know the cause of you."

"The cause of me? I'm pretty sure my parents are the cause of me," the blond

deadpanned. Suddenly, the other male appeared directly in front of Mihaeru, startling him

again.

"Are you certain?" it was not just the snow that caused a chill to run down his

spine.

"Would you stop doing that? It's creepy," murmured Mihaeru as he nestled into

the makeshift quilt that had covered his face only moments ago.

"Stop being? I am fairly certain that I could not stop being. Or can I. Can we?

Shall you join me in nonbeing?" the blue-eyed teen groaned. Listening to the other boy

would drive him insane. "Enough now, we must find Eru. He could be anywhere or even

everywhere."

"How are we supposed to see this Eru person if you don't even know where he

is?" Mihaeru was beginning to get annoyed by the albino boy.

"This one knows of that one's location," reaching up, the blond slowly massaged

his temple, feeling another headache coming on. "Take my hand and I shall lead you to

that one's residence." Mihaeru felt his hand being taken then a sharp tug which caused

him to stand. Instantly, he missed the small amount of warmth that was given to him by

the piece of cloth. At least Neito was nice enough to allow him to bend down and grab it

before they headed off into the blizzard. Too bad he still was not warm enough.

In the back of his mind, Mihaeru wondered how the other teen could manage to be

in this weather without having frozen to death. Unconsciously, he nuzzled closer to the

other person, seeking more heat. Mihaeru was not sure of the time they had spent

walking. He was not even sure where they were at. As far as the blond could tell, they had

been walking in circles. Curious as to their location, Mihaeru prodded for an answer.

"Are you sure you know where you're going?" the teen was given only silence as

an answer. However, it was only a few short minutes later that a different scenery filled

his vision. It seemed as if the snow just vanished and was replaced with a dense forest.

"Wha…What is this place?" Mihaeru questioned.

"This is a place of madness!" a voice rang out from somewhere close but the

owner was no where to be seen. Releasing Mihaeru's hand, Neito took a step forward. In

the much greener atmosphere, the albino could be easily seen. From behind one of the

large trees appeared a man, dressed oddly. He wore a dark lavender attire which was

shaggy. Many of the buttons were either missing or not buttoned correctly. No shoes were

on his feet nor were any socks. A tiny hat rested on his head. It was a miracle that it could

remain in its position considering the weird man's hair spiked in every direction. He

minded Mihaeru of-

"Eru-sensei?" the question from the blond's lips drew the older man's attention.

Eru strolled over to Mihaeru then placed his purple walking cane on the younger male's

cheek, roughly tilting his head.

"And who is this, Neito?" looking over to his companion, Neito's lips twitch.

"His name is Mihaeru," nearly gawking, Mihaeru realized that the statement was

the most normal sentence he had heard from Neito's mouth since he had arrived in the

foreign

land. Huffing, Eru placed the end of his cane on the ground then turned to face the albino

teen.

"While I'm sorting things out, perhaps you could go chase away those pesky white

rabbits in my garden," Eru suggested but it sounded more like a command. With only a

nod, Neito turned on his heel and headed past the over-grown plants. "He's such a pesky

boy, I never liked him. I thank you for bringing him to my trap, it has been so very

difficult to find him as of late."

"Your trap?" Mihaeru stared at the purple clad man that towered over him. A

sudden realization dawned upon the blond when he heard a bloodcurdling scream from

the direction that Neito went. He glanced at Eru, shocked and disgusted, before he took

off towards the source of the scream. Upon arriving at the scene, Mihaeru nearly stopped

dead in his tracks. If it weren't for his need to save the other boy he would have.

The strange robed creatures held tightly onto the petite teen, dragging him away.

"Neito!" Mihaeru tried to chase after him but was held back by Eru who had followed

behind him. As much as he struggled, the blond just could not break free from the older

man's hold. Drawing further away, the cliche looking monsters (I.e battered, black robes

and not a single limb visible.) spared not one glance back; they just kept going on,

screaming boy in tow.

"Mihaeru, Mihaeru!" being violently shaken, the blond opened his eyes. He was

met with the sight of perfectly unharmed Neito and his brightly lit room. Not being able

to hold himself back, Mihaeru flung his arms around his once rival, sobbing into the

younger teen's shoulders.

"I-I thought they were going to kill you! I'm so sorry! I don't really want you to

die," not used to having to comfort people; Neito could only gently pat the blonde's head and say one thing.

"It was only a nightmare," Mihaeru stared up at the younger boy, his train of thought had crashed long ago but somewhere in the midst of the wreckage, a single thought remained…

_'I never want anything to happen to him! Even if I say I do…I guess…We all say things_

_that we really don't mean.'_

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This was the story I just turned in for school :D Review.


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